User blog:Milesprower2/Everything Wrong With Plants vs. Zombies 1 In X Minutes Or Less Part 2
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Part 2 of this blog.
I can't get the number list to start at 147...I'll give the total number of sins at the bottom of the blog though.
- In the Almanac, why does it list recharge timers as "fast", "slow" and "very slow"? Surely fast, medium and slow would work better?
- Sunlight and carbon dioxide are all a Peashooter needs to shoot out peas, something that no plant can actually do no matter how much sunlight or carbon dioxide they get.
- Sunflowers are not essential, like the Almanac says. Especially at night, due to Sun-shrooms.
- Funny, Sunflower bounces to a beat only she can hear, when most plants bob from side to side as well.
- How do the Cherry Twins have time for intense consultation when they explode almost instantly?
- Explodonate isn't a word.
- Powie sounds nothing like an explosion.
- If Wall-nut doesn't feel pain when being chewed on, why does he start frowning?
- Potato Mine doesn't really need to worry about an investment strategy when he's going to self-destruct soon.
- Spudow sounds nothing like an explosion.
- "that damage and slow the enemy". You mean enemies.
- Snow Pea can roll his eyes?
- Chomper ate his agent, despite it probably not being a zombie.
- Eating agents isn't part of the business. It's not part of any business.
- The Almanac doesn't explain how Repeater is able to shoot faster than Peashooter.
- Surely this is in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, how can anyone not be aware of the existence of zombies? What is Puff-shroom, an idiot?
- Sun-shroom hates sun so much he is probably a vampire.
- Fume-shrooms fumes are deadly, doesn't using spores from such a deadly mushroom in a bakery break some kind of health code regulation?
- Grave Buster's appearance is apparently fearsome.
- Surely Hypno-shroom should be working at the zombie rehabilitation center, not Grave Buster?
- According to Hypno-shroom, zombies play a valuable role in our ecology. And yet, somehow, I think we could live without brain-eaters.
- Also, only Hypno-shroom can do anything to bring them around to our way of thinking, and yet he says "we can and should do more"
- "stops shooting when enemy is close". WHEN ENEMIES ARE CLOSE. SORT OUT YOUR F**KING GRAMMAR!
- Scaredy-shroom seems to be afraid of anything except clowns, one of the most widely feared things ever.
- Ice-shroom's face is paralyzed. That's so ironic.
- "Doom-shrooms destroy everything in a large area" Except plants, graves, Gargantuars, Giga-gargantuars, and so on.
- Also, Doom-shroom is a nuke.
- Doom sounds nothing like an explosion.
- According to the Almanac, Lily Pad doesn't talk. And he is a good guy. So he's a silent protagonist.
- "Squashes will smash the first zombie..." SMASH??? It's a Squash, not a Smash!
- Squash seems very eager to fight zombies, despite that causing him to die.
- Also, "put me in!" and "I need this!" seem like they COULD have secondary meanings.
- If there's a joke in Threepeater's flavour text, it went over my head.
- "I'll just hide here just below the surface" More than half of you is above the surface, you're doing a f**king bad job of hiding!
- Also, if Tangle Kelp always tries to stay invisible and hidden, how does he have friends?
- Jalapeno's flavour text sounds like a bad s*x scene. "Oh so soon" "It's close" "He can feel it" "NNNNNGGGGG" Yep. Definitely.
- I don't understand why a weed would like hockey or why he'd be terrified of pucks.
- Wait, Garden Warfare weaponized ice pucks. Maybe he predicts the future.
- Torchwood is a TV series.
- "turns peas into fireballs" You mean fire peas!
- Torchwood can't read, but he'd be great at book burning.
- Tall-nut "can't be vaulted or jumped over" despite both those words meaning basically the same thing.
- Sea-shroom's recharge shouldn't be slow. That's unfair.
- Plantern's range is listed as "one lane".
- Plantern defies science and the other plants don't?
- So "-es" is the plural of Cactus that they decided to use, instead of "-i". That's fine, although Cacti is the more widely used plural. What's not fine is when they decide to use "-i" instead of "-es" in the sequel for the plural of Octopus. No continuity there.
- Cactus dates an Armadillo. Isn't that an interspecies relationship? And for that matter, does this mean animals in the PvZ universe are intelligent as well as plants and fungi?
- Blover's Almanac entry says he blew out 60% of the candles on his fifth birthday. Why not just say three of the candles?
- Split Pea is a Gemini, meaning the plants believe in astrology, the biggest load of BS known to man.
- Split Pea's back head is just a head-like growth. Yet in PvZ2, it's shown that both heads are intelligent, meaning that the back head is surely more than a head-like growth?
- Starfruit got only four cavities in one tooth. I'd have expected five because it's a five-pointed star.
- Also, why does Starfruit even have a tooth?
- Pumpkin's cousin is in Peggle, meaning that Peggle and PvZ are both in the same universe.
- Magnet-shroom's Almanac leaves out the range.
- What does "lobbed" range mean? Why do they have to have a separate range listed for catapults?
- "Cabbage-pult just doesn't know how the zombies get up on the roof in the first place" Cabbage-pult would be great at CinemaSins.
- Also, plants apparently get paid. Is the sun cost the payment?
- Flower Pot, you are not also a plant. You are just a pot.
- Also, Flower Pot's Almanac entry is WAAAY too short.
- Kernel-pults Almanac says that kernels do light damage and butter does normal damage, when kernels are as strong as peas and butter is twice as strong.
- There are only three pult brothers? Where does Winter Melon fit into this then? Or Sap-fling? Or Pepper-pult?
- Coffee Bean is more hyperactive than Pinkie Pie. Something is wrong in the universe when something is more hyperactive than Pinkie Pie.
- Garlic's usage is listed as "on contact", when it's actually "upon biting".
- Garlic has a wife, yet no other plant apparently has.
- Also, plants shouldn't even HAVE genders. Real plants don't.
- Umbrella Leaf is high on Coffee Beans.
- Umbrella Leaf is probably friends with Jacks and Pogos.
- If Marigold decides which coin to spit out, why doesn't she ALWAYS GIVE US GOLD???
- Melon-pult's wrong, sun-for-damage, Puff-shroom and Sea-shroom are more powerful.
- How does upgrading a plant work?
- Gatling Pea's mouth as four small holes for peas to be shot out from, and yet the peas are still normal-sized.
- Also, plants have a military organization, and yet most plants that fight zombies aren't a part of it.
- Twin Sunflower is unoriginal.
- Twin Sunflower's Almanac is a bad horror movie scene.
- Did Dr. Zomboss create Twin Sunflower? It certainly seems like an evil genius created it.
- I'm really trying to find a sin in Gloom-shroom's Almanac Entry, really I am, but I can't find anything wrong with it. And a sin-less Almanac Entry counts as a sin.
- Grave Buster must surely love Cattail.
- Cattail tries just a little too hard to be a dog.
- Winter Melon's Almanac implies it shoots slower than Melon-pults and deals more damage.
- Winter Melon seems almost as afraid of the zombies as Scaredy-shroom.
- Gold Magnet exists.
- Gold Magnet collects diamonds.
- Gold Magnet collects gold coins even though gold isn't magnetic.
- Gold Magnet is gold and magnetic.
- Gold Magnet isn't nocturnal.
- Aside from the leaves and stalk, Gold Magnet is nothing like any plant.
- Gold Magnet has probably got the most sins out of any plant.
- Spikerock isn't a plant.
- Spikerock has more health than any other plant ever.
- Spikerock apparently likes museums, and yet knew almost nothing about them.
- How does Cob Cannon's corn explode?
- It's not very obvious that Imitater is a potato.
- Imitater can't imitate upgrades.
- Imitater is nearly forty years old, maybe even more than that. HOW DOES A POTATO LIVE THAT LONG???
- Giant Wall-nuts are unoriginal.
- Giant Wall-nuts can't be used outside of Wall-nut Bowling, unless you hack.
- The basic zombie has no standards when it comes to brains.
- Why doesn't Flag Zombie try to eat his flag?
- "marks the arrival of a huge pile or "wave" of zombies" Why did they even bother saying pile?
- "traffic cone headpiece makes him twice as tough" He has nearly triple the health of a regular zombie.
- "Pole Vaulting Zombie vaults with a pole" While the opening line of Almanac entries usually states the obvious, this is just silly.
- Why does Buckethead Zombie care about being unique? He's a mindless zombie after all.
- I'd freak out too if I was Newspaper Zombie.
- Screen Door Zombie's screen door is NOT an effective shield.
- Of course Screen Door Zombie stole the door and ate it's owner's brains. What would he do, ask nicely?
- Football Zombie has no idea what a football is, yet he remembers that he used to play football.
- The first line of Dancing Zombie's Almanac was only funny when it was the MJ Zombie.
- "summons back-up dancers" There's usually no hyphen, why is there here?
- The undead have music charts.
- Zombies have taken over New York City in this world.
- Zombies sometimes give up on brains forever when trying to learn how to use ducky tubes? Is there a Hypno-shroom in disguise teaching them about ducky tubes?
- Snorkel Zombie's Almanac entry mentions a big flaw with the zombies, a sin from part 1 of this blog. Then it dismisses it with "peer pressure".
- Zombonis don't look like space ogres.
- GOTY version ruins the Almanac entry of the Zomboni.
- Bobsled Team's flavour text starts in the past tense "worked hard" and then moves to present tense "live together, train together and eat brains together".
- "The dolphin is also a zombie" You don't say?
- Jack-in-the-Box Zombie looks crazy, the almanac doesn't have to confirm my suspicions.
- Sproing sounds nothing like an explosion.
- Balloon Zombie's almanac doesn't mention the weakness to Cattail, or explosive plants.
- Also, I forgot this last time, but how does one balloon hold up the entire zombie?
- Digger Zombie bothers with excavation permits?
- Why does Digger Zombie spin when he surfaces? All it does is get him dizzy so he walks the wrong way and leaves your brains alone.
- Sproing! Is also the sound you hear right before a zombie explodes and the sound of a plant deflecting stuff. Pogo Zombie, you're not the only thing that makes that noise.
- The Almanac entry for Zombie Yeti shows that we know quite a lot about it.
- "what's the point of being dead if you don't live a little?" That's actually a very valid point. A valid point made by a mindless zombie.
- Tell me where Ladder Zombie picked up a ladder for that price.
- "basketballs seemed like the best and most obvious choice" In what universe is that obvious, even to a zombie?
- Garg can't find a girlfriend? Why do zombies even want girlfriends?
- Gargantuar's toughness is extremely high, yet Zomboss's is just extreme.
- "Imps are tiny zombies hurled by Gargantuar" GARGANTUARS!
- How many people who read the Imp's Almanac entry knew what the melodica is?
- "set about establishing absolute dominance of his local subdivision" Start out small I guess...then move onto taking over the entire world.
- Trash Can Zombie only exists to be a zombie Wall-nut, and fails at that.
- Target Zombie dies when his shield is destroyed.
- Why is there an achievement for typing mustache?
- No-Cob-No-Explode is stupid. Most people won't use Cob Cannons in their first time beating Last Stand.
- Why does Chill Out's description have to rhyme?
- Blind Faith and variations of that achievement are usually not identical. Some versions allow Torchwoods, others don't.
- Lucky Spin, depending on version, is either insanely hard or really easy to get.
- Either way, it's luck-based.
- Chilli Free is luck-based.
- You can't get Wall-Not Attack in Zombotany 2.
- Gotcha! Is luck-based.
- ZFF's 4 Evr basically means "Zombie Friends Forever Forever".
- Also, shouldn't it be PFF's, Plant Friends Forever?
- Alive and Planting is for 40 flags, but Immortal, which sounds a lot harder to get, is just for 20?
Wow, there's more wrong with this game than I thought.
Looks like I'll have to make part 3 for Mini-games, Puzzles, Survival, Shop, and the Zen Garden.
Total sins so far: 292.