User blog:Lily8763cp/Random Blog - Confessions of PvZH plants

This blog is the result of boredom. This is also meant to be a joke, but this is most likely not funny. I tried. Also, looking at these, I noticed a lot of these I made are sort of dark. Not trying to be that person but, it just happened.

The plants are listed in order of their appearance on the PvZH plants template.

Guardian

• Potato Mine - "I tend to have a short fuse."
• Small-Nut - "Everyone seems to laugh whenever I introduce myself. I don't get it."
• Sting Bean - "For the last time, I'm not pregnant!"
• Wall-Nut - "I tend to crack a smile too often."
• Cactus - "I'm a bit of a p****." (Question, is the word that starts with "p" and ends with "ick" a bad word here? I don't want to get in trouble if I leave it uncensored.)
• Jugger-Nut - "I have this armor, but I'm somehow weaker than before! What is this armor even made of?"
• Pismashio - "Nobody seems to want me after they get Jugger-Nut. Is it my eyes?"
• Sea-Shroom - "I'm a mushroom...yet I can only be near other mushrooms when I'm used by the fat Potato!"
• Water Chestnut - "I actually do only 299 laps a day. I like to round."
• Pear Cub - "One day I'm going to grow into a big Grizzly Pear! You'll see!"
• Hibernating Beary - "I just want to sleep...zzz..."
• Pea-Nut - "I have no idea how my parents made me."
• Spineapple - "I'm a little overprotective of the little ones."
• Steel Magnolia - "For just one day, I want to know how it feels to be soft."
• Red Stinger - "I always need someone to be my scrapegoat to be my strongest."
• Guacodile - "I keep being told to rename myself to Avocroco. All because I'm named after the wrong thing."
• Mirror-Nut - "I always seem to hurt the other hero when I do my little celebration."
• Prickly Pear - "These spikes are actually really hard to regenerate."
• Grizzly Pear - "Ugh, nobody told me how hard it'd be to grow up. Now I just feel like attacking anything in my dang way..."
• Smackadamia - "I can't tell you how many people have said my name the wrong way."
• Tough Beets - "There's only one of me, why is there an "s" in my name?"
• Poppin' Poppies - "One time, I got arrested for child abuse. I only got out because I told them my Lil' Buddies were all over the age of 6 months."
• Soul Patch - "Nobody seems to be calm whenever I show up. It stresses me out."
• Lil' Buddy - "When can I tell Poppin' Poppies I don't want to do this anymore?"
• Hothead - "I have an explosive temper. SO WHAT IF I DO?"
• Grave Buster - "I suffer from a grave addiction."
• Doom-Shroom - "I can never hang out with anyone tough like me, or I'd blow them up by accident."
• Wall-Nut Bowling - "We always seem to miss the highest pins."

Kabloom

• Button Mushroom - "If one more person says I'm "as cute as a button" I swear..."
• Poison Mushroom - "That one girl is after me. She's scary."
• Shroom for Two - "This one Puff-Shroom will not leave me alone!"
• Buff-Shroom - "Nobody wants my fitness tapes..."
• Seedling - "I have Identity issues."
• Wild Berry - "I like wolves more than plants. And I want to just...I'm going to go now."
• Mushroom Ringleader - "This is hard to believe, but I'm lonely."
• Poison Ivy - "I have this one itch that will NOT stop!"
• Punish-Shroom - "I can't bear to see any of my fellow mushrooms get hurt...but all I can do is attack those that have already killed them!"
• Zapricot - "People say I'm "Pikachu"'s a******. I have something to ask. What is a Pikachu?"
• Pair of Pears - "Whenever I try to speak..."
• Pineclone - "I turn others into mindless clones of me on accident. So I'm locked away. It's lonely in there."
• Sergeant Strongberry - "I feel my berries should hurt the heroes with their original power. They seem to hate me for it...oddly."
• Sour Grapes - "Why do I have an "s" in my name? Do I look like I have multiple faces?"
• Bluesberry - "I actually prefer Heavy Metal. But I can't properly play a guitar."
• Dandy Lion King - "I can't wait to be king!"
• Poison Oak - "My poison ends up dripping in the sandwiches I make. So only Poison Mushroom and Poison Ivy can have a picnic with me. Shame, I want to eat with someone else!"
• Grapes of Wrath - "Our facial surgery went horribly wrong, and now we look like this!"
• Kernel Corn - "I got demoted? Why? Was I doing something wrong?"
• Puff-Shroom - "This Shroom for Two guy will not leave me alone!"
• Pear Pal - "...the other guy finishes it for me!"
• Berry Angry - "I'M SO ANGRY, I COULD JUST EXPLODE!"
• Cherry Bomb - "We always seem to miss the hero. Hackers..."

Mega-Grow

• Bonk Choy - "These Grow-Shroom spores keep ending earlier than they said they would!"
• Party Thyme - "I got sick from eating cake on the ground once. I haven't got sick again though, and I still do it."
• Pea Pod - "From experience, I can tell you that boulders hurt as much as rockets.
• Peashooter - "I've been fighting in a war for 7 years. 7. Dang. Years.
• Sweet Potato - "I love having a zombie in front of me. Someone to chat to! Though they seem to talk with actions. Violently."
• Torchwood - "I get fired up easily."
• Black-Eyed Pea - "That feeling you get where the zombies trick you so much, they blow you up with a rocket after boosting yourself."
• Cabbage-Pult - "On one hand, I'm sad that no other pults came, but on the other hand, at least she's not here."
• Doubled Mint - "I wish I could fly. But I never seem to evolve to flight."
• Fire Peashooter - "Once again, I'm an upgrade, but once again, nobody uses me anyways."
• Grow-Shroom - "I have the powders to boost anyone...but myself..."
• Muscle Sprout - "I need friends, or I'm not strong. But they all seem to go so fast."
• Repeater - "I keep repeating things. I keep repeating things. Wait what?"
• The Podfather - "I like to make offers they can't refuse. Seriously, they can't."
• Bananasaurus Rex - "I like seeing cards. They make me excited."
• Re-Peat Moss - "I'm a very "tricky" sort of moss."
• Skyshooter - "I only passed my pilot's test because I payed for the plane I crashed."
• Potted Powerhouse - "To be honest, I'm really just stuck in this pot."
• Whipvine - "I like to see the faces on the zombies when I move them against their own will."
• Super-Phat Beets - "Why do I have an "s" in my name when I'm just one person? ...wait, you've heard this before, haven't you?"
• Flourish - "..."
• Espresso Fiesta - "We like to see others have fun! ...though they seem so tired afterwards."

Smarty

• Admiral Navy Bean - "I'm in constant fear that this hat is going to crush me."
• Shellery - "Why does Sour Grapes and Grapeshot seem to have a natural liking towards me? It's creepy."
• Snowdrop - "Everyone just stares at me. I don't like it."
• Weenie Beanie - "I just had a growth issue, ok?"
• Lightning Reed - "Whenever I do something, it seems I cause some sort of shock value."
• Snow Pea - "The Freeze Tag Wars...oh...they were bad times. I don't want to discuss it."
• Cattail - "This hat is literally attached to my body. Help?"
• Chilly Pepper - "I want to feel warm for just one day without melting."
• Mayflower - "Hey, uh...important question. What's an Inkling? People say I sound like one."
• Rescue Radish - "I seem to get a glare whenever I save someone. Why?"
• Vanilla - "Sorry, I got nothing important to say."
• Bean Counter - "I count everyday, and if I make just ONE mistake, I have to start all over!"
• Carrotillery - "It's sort of lonely at the top. Nobody else from my country is here."
• Navy Bean - "Can these people please stop messing with my DNA? It hurts!"
• Snapdragon - "I finally got my wings, but I can't fly. *sigh*"
• Winter Squash - "I'm more the summer kind of squash."
• Jumping Bean - "I actually vault more than I jump."
• Jolly Holly - "How does one do that upside down smile? I want to try it sometime!"
• Smoosh-Shroom - "I truly am a hammerhead."
• Threepeater - "We each prefer different things, so we never seem to do anything we all enjoy."
• Brainana - "I need brains to become smarter. But I'm not a zombie, honest!"
• Winter Melon - "I fire my melons, expecting to freeze something, but everything seems to go away so fast. Weird."
• The Great Zucchini - "Aren't zombies cuter than bunnies! Look at them!"
• Magic Beanstalk - "I don't know where any giants are. Sorry!"
• Iceberg Lettuce - "Exploding into ice doesn't hurt actually."
• Sow Magic Beans - "We have no idea where the 4th Magic Beanstalk comes from."
• Spring Bean - "Isn't it fun to see your boosts just magical go away?"

Solar

• Bellflower - "Everyone tells me to sleep somewhere else. Something about my body it seems."
• Morning Glory - "I have to secretly take coffee from Coffee Zombie so I don't faint from tiredness."
• Sunflower - "I'm probably the best sun producer you'll ever meet."
• Fume-Shroom - "I got poked with a needle. That's why I got so thin. It sort of hurts."
• Pepper M.D. - "Quick thing to say. I'm not a real doctor. My license is faked."
• Sage Sage - "I can see the future...somebody will be admitting to having a mid-life crisis."
• Mixed Nuts - "Our dating profile, we need one person to finish our car. 3 wheels currently here. Is that a bad pick-up line?"
• Twin Sunflower - "If only we had separate bodies. Then we could be treated normally..."
• Venus Flytrap - "No, I'm not gay, I was given this bow by my dear mother! I never want to take it off!"
• Bloomerang - " I swear mate, these boomerangs never seem to go away, no matter how hard I try!"
• Chomper - "Why does everyone hate on me? I'm trying my hardest! What do they want? ...is it ok if I say I have a mid-life crisis right now? But...you don't have to pity me!"
• Magnifying Grass - "I'm a literal glass cannon."
• Jack O' Lantern - "I just love to see the ashes of the zombies, it's calming."
• Metal Petal Sunflower - "My favorite Plants vs. Zombies comic was Plants vs. Zombies: Petal to the Metal."
• Power Flower - "I heal you using the life force of myself and other flowers around me. Don't worry, it's not THAT much."
• Briar Rose - "Nobody hurts my flower friends and gets away with it. Nobody."
• Laser Bean - "The staring contests I enter always seem to end with the opponent's eyes on fire."
• Smashing Pumpkin - "Yeah, my favorite band is The Smashing Pumpkins. What of it?"
• Three-Headed Chomper - "We feel that our name is dumbest thing. We prefer the term "hydra" over "three-headed"."
• Toadstool - "I must move. Seriously, I just can't stand still!"
• Cornucopia - "I hear voices from my cannon. But I can never recognize who's voice it is."
• Squash - "I can't show any other emotion. It's a shame, because I'm happy most of the time."